jinasphinx | With apologies to Tolkien and Peter Jackson...

Many people are getting a chuckle out of these Lord of the Rings literary parodies: Jane Austen Writes LotR, If LotR Had Been Written By Someone Else at The Straight Dope, and A Houseful of Lords at Making Light (which appears to be highlights of the second one). So I thought I'd post the two parodies I've heard of recently, which are not literary but film-inspired. I can't take credit for the ideas; only the writeup is mine. The first one's from Erik Seaberg; the other's from a friend who isn't on the Web.

Scene: Saruman's Tower. Saruman paces before an open window. Outside, the ground has been flooded and the ents are marching about, singing and throwing the occasional boulder. Suddenly his gazing-orb, the Palantir, begins to glow and Sauron's fiery eye appears in it.
SAURON: Saruman? I can hear ents shouting all the way from Fangorn Forest. What's going on over there?
SARUMAN: [Slamming the window shut] Nothing, O dark lord! Uh, we had a slight landscaping problem, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you? [winces]
SAURON: I'm sending a Nazgul over.
SARUMAN: Uh, uh, negative. We have a dam leak here now. Give us some time to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous.
SAURON: What have you screwed up now, you moron!?
SARUMAN: [Throws a sheet over the Palantir and walks away] Boring conversation anyway.

Scene: Rivendell. The Fellowship is preparing to depart. Aragorn and Arwen stand off to one side.
ARWEN: Why are you saying these things?
ARAGORN: You have a chance for another life, Arwen. Free from despair, grief, pain, and death.
ARWEN: I have told you, I choose a mortal life with you.
ARAGORN: Last night we said a great many things. Well, I've done a lot of thinking since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you're getting on that ship to the Grey Havens where you belong.
ARWEN: But, Estel, no, I...
ARAGORN: Inside of us, we both know you belong with your people. If that ship leaves Middle Earth and you're not on it, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
ARWEN: But what about us?
ARAGORN: We'll always have Rivendell.

With apologies to Tolkien and Peter Jackson...

D'oh!